College-Bound Students Need to Master Certain Life Skills First
I propose mandatory hands-on classes they must pass, like doing laundry, balancing their checkbooks (online — I know they don’t have actual checkbooks), changing the cartridge on their printers, etc.
Yesterday, I received a stack of unopened mail that was forwarded to me from my son’s mailbox at college. They were all bank statements (balance = $25). When I asked why he didn’t check his mail before he left he said, “Mom, nobody checks their mail.” (giant eye roll) Of course! How prehistoric of me! I’ve had many college students I work with tell me they never check their email either, which accounts for the large percentage of college students who have no idea what their grades are at the end of the semester. This made me think about life skills.
When I was still a classroom teacher, there was a class at the school where I worked that was just for kids with learning disabilities (LD). About once a week, this class went on field trips throughout the community to learn life skills. They visited a supermarket, a bank, McDonalds, and so on. Often a regular education class would accompany them as volunteers. The day my class went was the trip to the Dollar Store, right before Christmas. The LD students had made lists of family members for whom they wanted to buy presents. In addition to the LD students, my students learned to calculate sales tax to make sure they had enough money to buy something, count their change and make a list before going shopping.
I learned the hard way never to take a fourth-grade class anywhere there are glass flowers and narrow aisles. I always thought these trips were a great idea and should be incorporated into the curriculum for all students.
Now, I’m not addressing why high school graduates don’t have the skill set to make a grilled cheese sandwich, that’s a whole other article. Since that ship has sailed by the time kids are of college age, I think we need to focus on getting them up to speed on various life skills before sending them off. I propose mandatory hands-on classes they must pass, like doing laundry, balancing their checkbooks (online — I know they don’t have actual checkbooks), changing the cartridge on their printers, etc. There should be a test they must pass where they demonstrate life skills in real life environments, much like that field trip, before being allowed to check into their dorms. Of course, that would require parents hanging around, which may impede the process since they may want to perform the life skills for their children (hint: that’s probably what got them there in the first place). To prevent this, parents should be duct taped to their hotel beds until their kid passes the test.
I do know many parents who try to teach life skills to their kids. My boys have been doing their own laundry for years, so I thought my son was all set in that area. I clearly forgot to tell him he needs to wash his clothes and change his sheets, since they walked themselves into our washing machine when he got home. Or, more likely, I did tell him and he just didn’t do it. It is my hope that, by teaching life skills before kids go to school, it may cut down on the 1,000+ texts in the first month asking why the bank says they have no money when they still have checks, if it’s okay to Febreze instead of doing laundry and how to refill their acne prescriptions.
marilyn
6:54 am on Saturday, June 16, 2012
mandatory classes on laundry? really? That's a little invasive. some of us parents really do have some brains, and teach our kids perfectly well. Yet another condescending, 'parents can't possibly do anything' article.
Susan Schaefer
5:50 pm on Saturday, June 16, 2012
Marilyn, I found your comment rather condescending. Of course I am not speaking directly to anyone in particular, other than myself, so there is really no need to take anything I write personally. I am aware there are parents who teach, or at least attempt to teach life skills to their kids. I cetainly thought I did but it has become clear that all my boys hear is "blah, blah, blah" unless it involves the consumption of food.
Alan Danenberg
10:31 am on Saturday, June 16, 2012
So true, Sue. I've managed to send too very capable sons off to college, who both then graduated with their degrees. Both had the same attitude as yours, "no one checks their mail." One even said, "I don't even need to have checks from the bank, its all online." Only problem is that since he wasn't looking at printed statements (rolled his eyes at that concept), and insisted he knew what was in his account so he didn't need to look online, he was missing seeing fees that the bank was erroneously posting. So they kept mounting up, and it got him into trouble.
And don't even get me started on doing his own income taxes!
Here's the real issue, and no Marilyn, its not invasive, nor is it condescending. The world has changed since we all grew up. But since most of us parents still remember (and may even follow) some of the "old" approaches, like mail, checks, landline phones, etc., the kids ignore our "lessons" as antiquated. But then they are missing the basic lesson, which is the outcome not the method.
I agree, Sue, some basic "coping with the real world" lessons can be helpful. Most 18 year olds won't listen to their parents for these, even though we have the experience, but will they listen to instructors in their last few weeks of high school? I don't know, ask them.
Susan Schaefer
5:56 pm on Saturday, June 16, 2012
Thanks Alan, and I just have to say you and Karen have done an outstanding job with your boys. Really great kids!
LMJ
11:49 am on Saturday, June 16, 2012
I agree with marilyn, it isn't the school's job. I think parents are so busy trying to make ends meet or have been told by the system that schools are "taking care of their kids" that they have given that reign to schools to teach them fundamental issues that should be the parent's job. When their is blame, the schools blame the parents, and in this case, they are right! Parents need to take their kids back and know that parents are the best teachers of "life issues". That should have never given that over to the schools! Because the schools are allowed to do this by parents, they make up more programs and need more funding for this or that "new" idea. Taxes go up, kids come home with ideas as fact that you would never teach your child, etc, etc. And we let them.
At home, children need to do chores, no matter what their gender or age is. Keeping children sheltered so that they can just enjoy their young life is also a huge dis-service to our kids. Let them walk in your shoes and keep them involved with those tough decisions in life, then what befalls them later, isn't such a huge panic and they aren't so incapable of making wise decisions. Your kids and their future, as well as our nation's future is the biggest investment that you can make.
Brian
12:06 pm on Saturday, June 16, 2012
I'll go a mild step further with this as well. My wife and I talk about life skills classes a lot now that we are roughly 10 years removed from college. All the pre-requisite classes they force you to take don't do much good (other than general knowledge, which is nice in it's own rite.)
It seems to both of us that our school should have had classes like this. Budgeting, Home Buying, Basic Maintenance, and things of that nature. Parents can still teach it and schools can have opt outs if parents so object, but my generation seems to lack many of the basic skills needed since we were raised at the cusp of the new electronic age. When you are in school, you live in a tight bubble where most everything is managed for you and all of a sudden you need a job, insurance, need to pay bills, need to buy a car and keep it maintained, buy food....all sorts of things. If schools are giving knowledge on how to get by in life, it seems that this type of curriculum would help keep people on the right track.
Alan Danenberg
1:27 pm on Saturday, June 16, 2012
Brian, you said it better than I did!
My kids went to a high school that prides itself on preparing kids for the academic requirements of college. And they do a great job of that. But what is missing there, and in many other such schools, are those life skills. Yes, marilyn and LMJ, parents should bear the responsibility for preparing their kids for life. But when so much of their time is spent on college-prep coursework, and the changes that have come about with the rapid rise in computers, parents are not always equipped nor "squeezed in" to our kids time for these lessons. No, I never expected the schools to do my job. But when I have to help my kids learn calculus - which they will not need in their chosen careers - and watch them learn computer skills that I'm still learning myself - it really is not so horrible to ask the schools to include those life-skills somewhere. Or at least make them available.
LMJ
1:39 pm on Saturday, June 16, 2012
Alan, you don't start these life skills while they are prepping for College... you start young and be vigilant. It isn't the schools responsibility. You know what it takes to make it in this world, teach it to your kids when they are young. They don't need to know calculus to balance their check book, or to do their taxes.
Dr. Mark Solomon
2:07 pm on Saturday, June 16, 2012
I have to admit, there is something I really like about the idea of having to demonstrate these skills, one way or another, as a part of acceptance into a college. I wonder how many students, superior students from superior schools, would perform so poorly on this part of an entrance requirement that it would prevent them from being admitted. I imagine that this requirement would lead to a new generation a lot more self-sufficient than the last few. There is, indeed, wisdom in the old saying: Necessity is the mother of Invention (or getting things done).
Susan Schaefer
5:54 pm on Saturday, June 16, 2012
I think we should create a college survivor program to sell to colleges, are you in?
Lisa Kaplin
6:38 pm on Saturday, June 16, 2012
What a nice article (and idea). I think most parents work on teaching their children life skills but it's awfully helpful when those skills are taught and reinforced by others. I'll take all the help I can get.
Dr. Mark Solomon
7:34 pm on Saturday, June 16, 2012
Susan, I like that idea too. In addition, how about selling Survivor - College Edition to the networks: Competion between Freshman to survive their 1st semester in College and between parents to survive their first child going away to College. I'm in!
Susan Schaefer
3:05 pm on Monday, June 18, 2012
I'm in!
Stuart Tindall
6:16 am on Monday, June 18, 2012
In middle school we had a mandatory semester of HomeEc. It got us up to basic competency and encouraged some of us to take cooking seriously.
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