How many times have I said to my kids "We don't do that - it's not nice manners." I was caught off guard though when Abby questioned - "What are manners, Mommy?"
Say please, knock before entering, hold your fork correctly, put your feet down, say hello, say thank you.... It makes me sound like a broken record. Repeat, repeat, repeat. I'd like to think by the time they are 9 they will get it!!
I have had some success recently with the please and thank yous. I've been trying to applaud and praise them when they do use nice manners.

I looked at the list from Shine - and agree that most of the 25 are just basic manners in getting along in society. However, I did not like #6 - The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults. I don't necessarily agree with this. I think it's important to teach kids how to express themselves and their true feelings nicely, and that there is a way to do that when you dislike something. You could teach them to say "I don't really care for that." or "That's not my favorite food to eat." I think you still stress that they use 'no thank you' in these situations, and use nice manners.

Just my thoughts....

Angela, I agree! I thought most of the list was right-on, but a couple were repress your feelings-esque. I try to teach my kids that what they feel is valid.. it's how they express those feelings (with kind words, I try to emphasize) that's important.

I'd like to think my children are polite. I've been preaching Please and Thank You since day one! I do have one who is very honest and has been known to point out the obvious to our overweight neighbor or to the lady at the mall who has a "few" wrinkles. It's hard to tell her what's acceptable to tell people and what she shouldn't say. She has never been mean, just stated facts. That was a few years ago, and I think she now gets it. I read many of the comments after the article and agree that it's not just the younger ones who don't have manners, it's many adults as well. I work in a place with many teens/young adults and find myself correcting them as well, or at least making them say please and thank you. I hate especially when grown adults can't even break away from their conversation on their cell phone to acknowledge a cashier at a store! I can't tell you how many times a day that happens to me at work. No wonder kids don't have any manners, their parents have none! UGH! I also agree with you Angela-it's important to teach our kids to not be afraid to express their feelings-they just need to learn the right way for the situation.

We are working on please and thank you even though my 20-month-old twins can't talk. I figure it's never too early to start. My daughter actually said something like "thank you" the other day! However, we are struggling with #23, using utensils correctly along with not throwing plates of food on the floor.

When I was a child - probably 7 or 8 - I was having dinner with my best friend's family. Mrs Yancey's cooking was quite different from my mother's and, at the end of the meal, having choked down the alien 'spanish rice,' I was asked by Mrs Yancey would I like a piece of 'cheese cake'...I'd never heard of such a thing! My response? "Yuck, no!" Mrs Yancey's sweet-toned "A simple yes or no would be sufficient, dear" has stayed with me forever. Sometimes we get 'jolts' when out in the world...and the lesson makes a greater impact since it's not the same-old-same-old from within the family.

I agree with Angela, Tara and others who question #6 and the idea of repressing feelings, never saying no, or pretending as good "manners". There are polite ways to decline foods or invitations, as Angela and Elizabeth point out. I tell my 5 and 3 year old that they can say "no thank you" if offered food that they don't like but they can't say "yuck" about the food or any other food that someone at the table is eating (usually my food!). Some manners, such as commenting on someone's weight or appearance ("gee, grandpa, you have a big tummy"), is developmental - they will eventually learn what is appropriate. The idea of repressing feelings or pretending is particularly troubling for girls - I urge moms of girls to read "The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence" by Rachel Simmons. As many of you have pointed out, adults' manners have deteriorated, particularly when it comes to technology use. Kids learn by watching us; the most important thing for parents to do is model good manners.

Our son is grown man now and my advice to new parents you must teach your child manners and rules when they are young as opposed to attempting to shape them when they are adolescents or teenagers. We raised a responsible and very well mannered son who now proudly serves in the Air Force. I guess the following statement would be included in teaching them manners but we taught our son how to respect and treat a female. I think it is extremely important to teach your son how important it is to hold the door for a female and all the other manners you want to see in a male. Some standards will continue to evolve however the basics on how to treat one and another is still the same. Using our manners is not just for children but for everyone. I am not over the top with manners but I believe in the old saying you should treat others as you want to be treated.

One of the most effective ways to teach children to be polite and have good manners is to lead by example/role model and have those qualities themselves. You can preach, have the schools due special units, etc. but if parents live the qualities they want to see in their children, it will be a way of life and not just a do as I say not as I do lesson.